DR REBECCA B. SINGSON, MD, FACS, FPOGS, FPSCPC

I’m a virgin. Will sex hurt? Whats a man supposed to do to prevent from hurting her bride?

A virginal hymen can barely accommodate the pinky finger so getting a man’s organ in can be a bit of a challenge. Whether it will hurt or not will depend upon the man’s skill and patience. There is no substitute for foreplay which begins with sexy whispers, lingering kisses on the ears, neck, mouth and all the erogenous zones lasting a minimum of 20 mins. No attempt at penetration should be done prior to this because women take much longer than men to get fired up for sex. Once well lubricated, only then should the man attempt to insert a finger very slowly to effect gradual dilatation on the hymen. For a virgin, even one finger will hurt, but if done sensually with heightened arousal, it will at least be a pleasurable pain. After one finger is inserted with ease, two fingers can slowly be inserted, then three fingers. Only when this can be done with ease can the man attempt at intercourse.

How can I turn on my groom?

Men are very visual beings so the fact that Victoria’s Secret is a multi-million dollar business is evidence of that. So get yourself irresistibly ravenous with a sexy gear. Aside from learning to set the mood, the woman must get familiar with the man’s anatomy for her to understand how to pleasure her man. The inner thighs of a man, when stroked upwards can trigger the cremasteric reflex, meaning it causes the muscles enveloping the testes to contract, giving an intense ticklish erotic sensation. Kissing and licking the testes and groin areas can give a toe-curling sensation to your man. By the time you get to the penis, understand that it is composed of the head and the shaft. The head part is more sensitive than the shaft so licking or stroking the head can send your man to outer space, especially if you stroke the side near the hole where the urine comes out. But remember that some grooms like women to take the lead yet some men prefer to be in control at all times. So, communicate with your man all the time regarding his preference.

How can I achieve an orgasm?

Unlike men who can achieve an orgasm in two minutes flat, a woman’s sexual anatomy does not allow orgasm to be achieved as easily during intercourse. Upon penetration, the penis is stimulated from tip to base but for the woman, the clitoris gets a piece of the action only during certain positions where the man, or the woman herself, can stimulate the clitoris during contact. There are 4 phases of the human sexual response, namely: the excitement phase, plateau phase, orgasmic phase and resolution. A woman takes normally at least 20 mins. to get warmed up from Excitement Phase to Plateau phase, where her blood supply floods the genitals and nipples causing them to be markedly engorged, and the lower third of the vagina lengthens. The woman has to reach this phase before the Orgasmic Phase can set in. Since the woman’s orgasm is primarily clitoral, orgasm is best achieved when this clitoris is stimulated. Stimulation can be done with the fingers but only if the genitals are well lubricated, otherwise, it can be very unpleasant, or even painful. The tongue provides a much better stimulation because it is not bony and it is a self-lubricating organ.

What most people are not aware of is the presence of the G-spot. This is a 1×1 cm. area corrugated spot on the anterior lower third of the vagina. The best way to feel this is with the woman lying on her back, the man inserts his forefinger, with the palm facing up the ceiling. The G-spot can be felt as a rough spot within an inch or two from the introitus, ridged like the palate of the mouth. Stimulating this for 10 to 15 seconds with a sawing motion, alternating that with clitoral stimulation can give the woman a most powerful orgasm. To help the man along, the woman can contract her butt muscles because the tension can promote an orgasmic response.

Is there any standard position for sex? What position best promotes orgasm for the woman?

The most common position for most couples is the missionary position with the man on top while the woman lies on her back. However, it is not ideal in promoting orgasm for the female because it does not allow much clitoral stimulation. The ideal position to promote orgasm should allow both G-spot stimulation while allowing clitoral stimulation as well. The missionary position can be altered by placing a pillow under the buttocks and bringing the legs up on the man’s shoulders while he is on top of you. This position allows the penis to hit the G-spot while allowing his hand or yours to stimulate the clitoris. The doggie position with the woman kneeling on fours with the man behind, does the same as well as the spoon position where the man is behind the woman in a side-lying position. The woman on top position can cause both G-spot and clitoral stimulation and gives the woman the control in angling herself to achieve maximum stimulation, regulating how fast or slow she wants the thrusts to be as well as adjusting how deep or shallow she wants movements to be.

I’m getting my period during my honeymoon. Is there a way to delay it?

If you anticipate that your period will come during your honeymoon, you may take a birth control pill on the first day of your menses continuously until the day that you are prepared to have your menses.

What’s honeymoon cystitis?

The trauma during intercourse can cause the bacteria to creep up the urethra (the tube leading up to the bladder), causing an infection called cystitis. Since it is very common among virgins having intercourse for the first time, it has been called honeymoon cystitis (but it’s really just a urinary tract infection). To prevent it, urinate immediately after contact to deter the bacteria from creeping up to the urethra. Inform your partner that the bacteria in the rectum is the culprit in 90% of the time so avoid hitting the rectal area during intercourse.

I have a vaginal itch two weeks after I took antibiotics for a cold, can my husband get contaminated from me?

Most likely, what you have is a fungal infection or Candidiasis. This is an opportunistic organism which proliferates itself when your immune system is low or your protective bacteria, the lactobacilli, is destroyed by antibiotics. It is not contagious if the person’s immune system is normal. Thus, unless your husband is immunocompromised, he should not get contaminated.